Those Days

As a Christian, you are going to have those days that just plain suck.  You feel that everything that could go wrong does.  Every stinkin’ jerk known to man decides to find you and you want to throw out every obscene word you know to let them know how you really feel.  Better yet, you want to implant your fist in their pie hole or insert your size 12 where the sun don’t shine.  I could go on and on but at the end of the day, I thank God that He sent His son to die for all the crap that I can dish out as a response.

But guess what, that is not exactly what this post is about.  I want to talk about those days as a Christian that you can’t do anything but worship and praise Him.  Those are the days that I am reminded that I am a child of His.  He placed me on this earth to serve Him and He makes sure that I am in the center of His will (not Vic’s) by placing the right people in my path at the right time.   

Folks, Sunday was one of those days… 

From beginning to end, He rocked me inside out.  You see, I know for a fact that Alamance County better brace itself because God has a plan and the revolution has started.  I tend to forget sometimes there is battle within myself.  I am glad that He reminded me that he is my personal God and He will do what it takes to develop my character.  If that means allowing those days that really blow, so be it.  I know I can appreciate Him that much more on days like Sunday. 

Report from Disney World…

Hello from sunny Orlando, Florida.  I hear B-town is nice and cold.  It was so warm today, I think that I broke out into a sweat a couple of times.  We are having a blast.  Ross and I are trying to figure our blogging routine when we get back so we can cover the entire trip.  I will admit that there are some things that have come back to bite me on my left butt-cheek while down here.  We have pictures to prove it. 

We are also working out some guest blogging spots when we return.  You will not be disappointed. 

All I can say for now is PEACE OUT from Sparky and Mary Francis!!!  Man it’s hot down here………. 

Top 5 Things to Think About Before You Go to Disney World

As some of you know, we are headed to Disney World tomorrow (Friday) with the Hortons.  The plan is to have a stinkin’ blast and make sure WDW will never be the same.  For those of you that are planning a trip to WDW in the near future, I have the Top 5 things to think about before you go:

1. Make sure you are not planning your trip during AARP week.  It is one thing to have to deal with the infant strollers but add “those geriatric scooters,” you will be in looking at a long week. 
2. For those of you that are fashion-conscious, FORGET IT!  By day 2, you won’t care what you have on as long it is comfortable.  (Speaking of fashion, if you have a hook-up at WDW and can get us that night’s stay at Cinderella’s Castle, I promised to run around in all my glory in Cinderella’s Castle and eternally embarrass my kids and I guess my wife too.)
3. If you have a nervous foot and tap it while on the can, do not plan to use the public bathrooms while in the parks.  Ain’t explainin’ that one…
4. Speaking of public bathrooms, it is always best to regulate yourself before you go.  Drop the kids off at the pool before you leave the room every morning.  OR if your wife and kids do not care for the aroma, most resorts have clean bathrooms in their lobbies. 
5. Lastly, on a more serious note, commit yourself to have a great time.  Yes, it is going to crowded and there are plenty of line passers and nose pickers.  BUT, you will never find a place where your kids’ faces will light up like a Christmas Tree every morning.  It is moments like those you will cherish forever.     

Big Daddy Loves TV – Part 2

Through my depression of the recent writers strike, I have to say there is some glimmer of hope:  American Gladiators.  I am really loving this show.  I remember watching all the originals as a kid.  Seth and I like to watch them on ESPN Classic when we get a chance.   

I have to admit that I was concerned that they would really add some cheesy events and screw up what the original did well.  I can’t believe how they brought this show back with a good taste of the 21st century.  Hulk Hogan and Laila Ali could step it up another notch but I think they will only get better as the show goes along.

There are a couple of gladiators that scare me a little bit.  See Hellga:  Her picture is attached.  Note the spelling is not Helga but HELLga)…she scares the crap out of me.  One of her thighs seem bigger than my big belly…meet her in a dark alley and she could whoop your butt.  

Anyway, if you haven’t seen it, take a look.  I don’t think you will be disappointed.

Peace Out.     

Big Daddy Loves TV – Part 1

For those of you that did not know, BIG DADDY loves TV.  I would have to admit that I think that the DVR may be the absolute best invention of the century.  I love all the CSIs, Lost, Criminal Minds, House, Numb3rs, Ghost Whisperer, Cold Case, Heroes, and ALL of REALITY TV.  I am sure I have left out a few shows and I am sure some of you are already trying to sympathize with my wife.  Trust me, she is well aware of my addiction and she kindly reminds me…  I am happy to say this is Part 1 of many dedicated to my TV addiction. 

All that said, this past fall I ran across a show, the Next Great American Band.  I know, I know… an American Idol spin-off but I could not resist.  For those of you that know Sheila E, she was one of the judges.  Memories of my teenage infatuation just pulled me right in…how could I not tune in?   

As the season progressed, one of my favorite bands, The Clark Brothers, blew me away with how they displayed their faith and how their conviction really was shown through their music.  I could not believe how the judges, the studio audience and the viewers at home fell in love with 3 Christian boys with a little charisma.  If I only had a fraction of their conviction in my daily walk, I wonder how I could impact my community for Christ.  As Christians, should we not pray for something that powerful?  After what Christ did for us, shouldn’t our passion and conviction draw people to us?     

If you want to take a look at The Clark Brothers singing a Jagger / Richards (Rolling Stones) song, CLICK HERE.   

I Live with a Vigilante

For those of you that know my wife, you know there is a reason we do not have guns in the house.  As I understand it, a near incident occurred today that confirms that I have made the right decision. 

You see, we have a new van.  Her name is Linda.  Seth and Anderson named her soon after we bought it and it sorta stuck.  Today, Teresa was meeting friends for lunch and a man with a thick accent hit one of Linda’s mirrors with his door.  In response, she jumps out of Linda to question this poor man if he knew that he had hit ”her new van”.   The startled man apologized profusely in his broken English and immediately drove off.  Can you imagine what would have happened if my bride was packing heat?  This guy is probably hiding afraid that INS (Immigration and Naturalization Service) may pick him up at any time. 

I have sworn that I will buy a shotgun when Anderson turns 13.  Based on today’s events, I may have to rethink that decision. 

Big Daddy Loves Madea

Make fun of me all you want but I am a huge Madea aka Tyler Perry Fan.  Perry created Madea to mimic his mother and aunt.  Honestly, Madea reminds me of my grandmother “Frances Thelma”.  I found out yesterday that “Madea Goes to Jail” will begin filming soon and I have been excited ever since.  Before I get any of your “hater mail”, I know Madea is a man dressed up like a woman (and I ain’t attracted to her) and I know she says some words that some of you might not appreciate (I would suggest to each of you to read Tyler Perry’s story and understand why he writes this type of material). 

I did find my favorite Madea quote:  “I’m bout to start a drive-by up in this church. You better be glad we in church. Jesus just saved yo life. Halleluyur!” 

Check out one of my favorite clips from the play “Madea Goes to Jail”.  Click HERE

More Bathroom Banter

I am glad that many of you liked my urinal post last week.  While in the same bathroom this morning, another bathroom phenomenon came to mind that we might want to consider.  Why do Christian men leave Gospel tracts in men’s bathrooms?  I am not sure if they are ever in women’s bathrooms or not.  I do not think I have ever heard my wife talking about seeing one.  I honestly have never met a guy who credited coming to know Christ while sitting on the crapper either. 

Thinking about this I decided to google “tracts” and found out there is an American Tract Society.  Being the sinner that I am, I thought I really was going to have fun with the ATS.  But, I decided to look at their site and do a little research.  (Being a “baby blogger,” I did not want to knot up too many undergarments.)  Honestly, I could not believe how much information they have on their site.  For those of you that believe in a “tract ministry,” please take note of the guidleines page.  Furthermore, I did not see “leave tracts in men’s bathrooms” or “leave tracts instead of tips in restaurants”.  All I can say, tract lovers need to be careful and not turn people away while they are trying to attract them. 

Before I get myself in a bigger pile of you know what, I want to say that I have seen tracts used effectively for kids.  Ms. T has found some great ones for kids in the past and some of the Children’s Ministry companies print some cool stuff.  With that said, all is not a loss…maybe I am not such a tract hater as I thought???? 

Peace Out!     

Solving the Church Sign Mystery

I bet I drive past 25% of all the churches in Alamance County during the week.  Many of these churches have signs in their front church yards.  What puzzles me is what is the motivation for these messages?  Barring the risk of someone burning my house down or placing flaming cow dung on my front porch, I will not identify the specific churches I am writing about.  So here goes…

• Other than Christians, who really understands these “religious riddles”.  For example, move over so he can come in for 2008.  Sounds like a voice over for As the World Turns…
• If you want people to come inside, give them food.  Good food.  I am not sure if this generation wants or cares about your cover dish suppers and singin’ services.  They may be the best in “Christian standards” but I am not sure how effective they are for the people we need to be reaching.  In fact, I remember growing up in a youth group trying to plan what time we could slip away to McDonalds for some chicken nuggets.  At least they were hot…
• Finally, I really think the corny signs could work if the people receiving the message on the sign received the real message once they reached the pew.  In this day and time, I really fear what a non-Christian may see and hear when they walk in the doors of a church.  

I promise you this post is not meant to tear the local church down but I want it to serve as an awareness of what our intentions seem to be.  The signs are just a “sign” of the bigger problem…why do you do what you do in your local congregation?  Are you truly on mission with God? 

In Line for the Urinal

Alright.  Brace yourself people because this post could ruffle some feathers.  For those of you this offends, I am sorry in advance.  We all need a little bathroom humor every now and then.  For some of you, this may change your behavior in a positive way, at least in my eyes. 

I work in a very public place where thousands of people walk through the halls everyday.  My office suite is located across the hall from the PUBLIC restroom.  As you might have guessed, I make a visit or two daily.  On occasion in the past month, I have had to stand in line to use the lone urinal in the men’s restroom and I made a few observations and could offer up some advice to my brethren:

1. Fellas, when a fireman goes into a house to put out a fire, he always has control of the hose.  In fact, if he doesn’t have a good handle on it, the hose goes wild and ruins his aim.  Same is true for the urinal guys, take hold of the hose or sometimes you may find your shoes wet. 
2. Guys, when you place one or both hands above the urinal against the wall while relieving yourself, think about what you are putting your hands on.  I have seen more “nose candy” than I care for behind many urinals.  Think about where your hands go after you pee…enough said. 
3. All my life I questioned why women visited the bathroom together.  I have no desire to take a stroll with my buddy to the bathroom.  I have seen way too many men in the past few weeks try to coordinate their social calendars in the confines of the Men’s Restroom.  I beg you fellas, take my philosophy:  If you go into a bathroom to pee, then PEE.  PEE NOW TALK LATER.  Do not run the risk of losing your “man card”.     

I hope I was able to provide information that will help each man that reads this blog a better experience in a public restroom.   

PEACE OUT!